Don’t Be Bitter
Scripture: Colossians 3:19Devotional Series: Husbands
Teaching: Husbands pt. 4 (SUN_PM 2024-08-11) by Pastor Star R Scott
We’re to dwell according to knowledge and give honor, “that our prayers will not be hindered.” Turn over to Colossians. While this communication is taking place here, men, we’re recognizing our wives’ roles. We’re honoring them in this position. I might say, when it comes to this honor, do not ever demean your wife. Do not ever criticize your wife. Do not ever steal her honor in the presence of your children; amen? Because the reality is, she is God’s representative of authority. Oversight, hands‑on administration of both the tenderness, the goodness, the care of God and also the severity of God, because so much of the disciplines and instructions are handed out on her watch, fulfilling those things that you’ve commissioned her to do.
The honor that goes along with that role should be recognized at all times by your husband. So, when we’re looking at this aspect, we’re here in Colossians and Ephesians speaks toward this same thing, we’ll take a look at it. But in Colossians, the third chapter, we see these words being given to us. Colossians, Chapter 3, verse 17, we’ve just been admonished to “whatever it is that we do, in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.” What a great admonition. Then he tacks onto that great truth and says, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as it is fit in the Lord.” Submit yourselves as it is fit in the Lord. That word fit is speaking toward the aspect of “being proper” or “biblically,” and it’s as unto the Lord, the Scripture says. Then he goes down and admonishes the husband, “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. Children obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.”
So, as the Holy Spirit is speaking, here, to the role of husbands, of fathers. The one thing that he speaks and makes very clear to us is there can’t be a spirit that comes forth, ever, to our wives that would imply the word bitter here talking about “cutting” or “sharp.” There should never be a cutting statement made. There should never be sharpness. That critical statement, whatever it might be, in whatever realm that it might be, our speech is to be seasoned with grace, regardless of who we’re talking to in the body of Christ, but especially to our wives. They need your oversight, not your criticism, not your sarcasm. Never to address our wives in that kind of a spirit. Don’t be bitter. I think this is something that we can really put to use.
Don’t be irritated by or toward your wife, don’t be irritated. Love is not touchy; amen? If your wife is doing something that you dislike, that you don’t necessarily think is wise, then go to them using words and let them know how much they are appreciated, how much they’re loved, that you recognize the role that they’re in, the load that they’re carrying. Then share with them, say it in dialogue. Talk and share with them. “Is there anything I can do to help in this situation?” Most of the time, you’ll find out, men, that they just wanted to know that you were aware, that you care, and that you will be there if your assistance is needed. That’s the spirit that we’re communicating in. Why would you criticize your wife for something you can’t do?
The honor that goes along with that role should be recognized at all times by your husband. So, when we’re looking at this aspect, we’re here in Colossians and Ephesians speaks toward this same thing, we’ll take a look at it. But in Colossians, the third chapter, we see these words being given to us. Colossians, Chapter 3, verse 17, we’ve just been admonished to “whatever it is that we do, in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.” What a great admonition. Then he tacks onto that great truth and says, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as it is fit in the Lord.” Submit yourselves as it is fit in the Lord. That word fit is speaking toward the aspect of “being proper” or “biblically,” and it’s as unto the Lord, the Scripture says. Then he goes down and admonishes the husband, “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. Children obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.”
So, as the Holy Spirit is speaking, here, to the role of husbands, of fathers. The one thing that he speaks and makes very clear to us is there can’t be a spirit that comes forth, ever, to our wives that would imply the word bitter here talking about “cutting” or “sharp.” There should never be a cutting statement made. There should never be sharpness. That critical statement, whatever it might be, in whatever realm that it might be, our speech is to be seasoned with grace, regardless of who we’re talking to in the body of Christ, but especially to our wives. They need your oversight, not your criticism, not your sarcasm. Never to address our wives in that kind of a spirit. Don’t be bitter. I think this is something that we can really put to use.
Don’t be irritated by or toward your wife, don’t be irritated. Love is not touchy; amen? If your wife is doing something that you dislike, that you don’t necessarily think is wise, then go to them using words and let them know how much they are appreciated, how much they’re loved, that you recognize the role that they’re in, the load that they’re carrying. Then share with them, say it in dialogue. Talk and share with them. “Is there anything I can do to help in this situation?” Most of the time, you’ll find out, men, that they just wanted to know that you were aware, that you care, and that you will be there if your assistance is needed. That’s the spirit that we’re communicating in. Why would you criticize your wife for something you can’t do?