Men, the most important thing is for us to understand that our wives not only want to be, but also should be heard; amen?  They should be heard.  What happens a lot of time with men is that they’ll listen to their wives and then give no response.  “Well, I just had to absorb that and take it in.”  Then take a moment and tell them, “I’m absorbing this.  Taking it in and under consideration.”  I’ll say it again.  I’ve said it a lot of times.  Men, use words; amen?  Use words.  Your woman is a creature of words.  They not only dispense them (Amen?) they want to receive them back.  It’s miraculous.  I still watch women.  There are six women standing in a circle, every one of them is talking at the same time, and they all hear what everybody said.  I don’t know how it works.  Creatures of words.  Tell them what you’re thinking and use this wisdom that God’s given us of drawing on their input.

This word is interesting.  He says, “Dwell with them according to knowledge.”  The Greek here is very strong.  It boggles our minds, but this word literally means “to understand completely.”  Men, it’s going to take an investment of time to understand your wife completely.  Why?  They use words.  If you’re going to understand them, you’re going to have to give them the courtesy.  You’re going to have to acknowledge their role as your help meet and listen and listen and listen and listen to get to know them.  They want to tell you why they feel this way.  “Well, I feel this way.”  “Okay.”  “Look, hey, no, don’t stop there.  I want to tell you why I feel this way.”  “Okay.  But now you do know that with my processing and my logic, the way my mind works, my desire to go fix it?”  “No, don’t go fix it.  I just want you to take time for me to tell you why I feel the way I do.  I don’t need you to fix it.  I want you to hear what I’m saying to you.  If I want you to fix it, I’ll tell you I want you to fix it when I’m all done telling you this other stuff.  And by the way, fix it.”

So, this is communication.  It takes discipline, and it takes preferring, and it takes laying your life down.  It takes trust in your wife.  I want to just reiterate a couple of high points.  Remember, men, that one of the things we’ve said is do not use your wife’s Eve‑ness against her.  Though there are all of these principalities of the woman being compelled to usurp, being compelled to deceive, being compelled, this is Mother Eve, and it’s very real in the church.  There’s much written in the Scriptures about the distinct roles of men and women, especially in the church and it pertains to the household.  With these propensities, God has established an order. You are in the position of authority, and in the end, setting the course for your family.

Stop assuming that your wife is always trying to get around you or manipulate you.  See, we as men, hate to be manipulated.  Everybody does, but we hate to be manipulated.  Scripture speaks to it.  Stay in that meek and quiet spirit, and husbands recognize the redemption that’s taken place in her life.  Recognize that they don’t want those tendencies to manifest any more than you want your sinful tendencies to manifest.  They hate the sin that’s in their members as much as you hate the sin that’s in your members.  So, we don’t hold this against them.  We’re not listening to them with suspicion.  We’re not bringing about quick judgment on an emotional response.  Listen to me!  We are not making quick judgment on an emotional response.  An emotional response is not the revealing of the character of a person; amen?  So, when your wife responds emotionally, don’t judge her character.  In fact, we should do the very opposite.  We should show them pity and love and tenderness.