If we’re loving our wives as Christ loved us, I want you to know something, we are ever on his mind; amen?  This death to self talks about constantly denying ourselves and focusing on building up our wives; that gift that God has given us.  God’s wisdom from the beginning was, it’s not good for man to be alone; amen?  “He that findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favour of the Lord.”  Hallelujah!  We take too much for granted, men; amen?

You cannot love your wife too much.  That’s what love is, that’s what agapáo is.  It’s an expression that looks for the total well-being of that object of our love.  I always want them happy at all times, content at all times, safe at all times, at peace at all times.  What can I do to contribute to that?  No, I don’t mean to die.  Is that one of the foremost thoughts that we have?  We need to cultivate it so that it becomes foremost, if it’s not already.  First of all, most of you men, if we allowed the world to make a chart, most of you men here this morning would be off the charts in how good of a job you’re doing.  Men, we’re sure not here to beat you down.  We’re here to share principles with you that will make your life better, as we’ll see here, going on in the Scriptures.  Because, when you love with that kind of a love, it will be reciprocated.  All of those things that internally you think you need, or you expect or, “I’m not seeing enough of.  I’m not appreciated.  I need more respect.  I want more respect, and I want to be recognized for the job I’m doing.  I don’t feel that there’s enough trust that’s being shown me,” etcetera.  You can go on with whatever you want.  All of that stuff you’re looking for, you will receive if you’ll fulfill your role of loving your wife properly.

You can’t demand that anyway.  It’s not earned, it’s a gift by the Spirit of God; you can’t earn that from the other person in your marriage.  These are things that are supernatural, that are gifts of the Spirit that flow back and forth to one another.  You don’t earn it.  It’s the fruit of the Spirit being exchanged, reciprocated.  You reap what you sow, praise God!  Amen?  That’s why, if we’re following the Scriptures, there’s no place for us to ever get into conflicts and big arguments.  “I’m not, you know, going to speak to my husband for a day or whatever it might be, or go to bed pouting or in strife.”  Do not let the sun go down on your wrath; amen?  Don’t you go to bed in conflict with your spouse, ever!  You’ve given place to the devil.  How can there be a conflict, how can there be these arguments, when we’re born‑again, spirit‑filled believers and know that a soft answer will turn away wrath?  What am I saying?  It takes two to argue; amen?

This sanctifying and cleansing with the washing of the water of the Word, Jesus did it to present to himself a glorious church.  We’re not only loving and fulfilling this biblical mandate to get them ready to be presented to Jesus.  This isn’t, “even as,” when we love them as the Scripture mandates.  We present to ourselves a glorious wife, a pure and holy wife.  Our love will enable them to fulfill their role of submission, of obedience, of help meet.  Those things will become the natural consequence of you preferring, of you loving as you’ve been loved.  Don’t abuse that gift that God has given you, they are the weaker vessel.  Colossians is very clear; it says we’re to love them and not to be bitter, there can’t be a harshness.  We do not put judgment upon our wives, we provide redemption, reconciliation; amen?  Everything we do is not to alienate, it’s to restore.  And many times, we men are looking for justice when in fact we need to be showing mercy, as Christ loved the church.

Father, we thank You for Your Word.  And we just ask that You would continue to instruct us and guide us, that You might present to Yourself a glorious church.  You gave Yourself for us.  Everything that You had, everything that You could take to Yourself, and You walked away from it and went to the cross and became one of us and rejected of the Father on our behalf.  And so, we ask for that spirit, and we ask to love with that same love wherewith we’ve been loved that those around us could look into our families and look into this community and say, “Behold how they love one another.”  It’s miraculous, there can only be one answer to why there’s that kind of love manifesting itself, and that answer is, Jesus has risen from the dead, praise God.  Let that be our testimony, Father, in Jesus’ name; amen.