As we recognize that and our hearts are committed to the mind and the will of God, we’re available constantly to be taught how I can be a better spouse, how we can have a better home.  Not only am I open to instruction, but I’m also open to fulfilling my role even when it’s uncomfortable.  Ladies, we shared about you as helpmeets, making sure that you speak into your husband’s life.  I think in some of the minds the pendulum swung a little too far, and in seeing man and man’s role and man’s authority doesn’t mean that we back off and allow him to make decisions, set courses, without counsel.  You’re responsible to speak into these men’s lives.  “Well, he gets all upset and all, and starts spewing off and different things and I just don’t need all of that grief.”  He needs your care; he needs your encouragement.

I might share with you, ladies, there’s nothing that pierces a man’s heart and is more offensive than thinking that you don’t trust him.  Now, men, we may or may not have given reasons not to be trusted, but in proper relationship we know that when anything is dealing with the subject of sin it has to be brought to the light and it has to be—listen—it has to be dealt with by the Word of God only, not our opinions and not our emotions.  What does the Word say?  Let’s sit down together and identify what the Bible says about this and both choose to do it; amen?  Wouldn’t it be nice if we could maturely do that every time?  God has made provision in His church to help and assist us at times in those areas.  But that’s your first responsibility, it is not to go out and talk to your friends about it; amen?  “I’ve really got this problem with my husband.”  Now, I don’t know what it was that we’re wanting to talk about at this moment but the real issue is that you really have a problem with yourself, because you should take the beam out of your eye; amen?  We should approach this from the fact that love covers a multitude of sins.  Love never exposes the weakness of our spouses.  All you are doing, you who are one, is diminishing yourself.  You’re revealing how bad of a job you’re doing in this relationship.  Could it be you are the reason why this relationship is not fulfilling its purpose of glorifying God in every area of your lives?  What are we saying?  We’re saying, 1 Corinthians 13, love believes no evil; amen?  Love is patient, love is kind, it’s very gentle, it doesn’t think evil.  Behold, how they love one another.

I want to share one last thing that I think can be helpful to us.  We’re familiar with the major passages, and you’ve taken notes on them many times, but Ephesians 5:22, 24, the general admonition to submit and to be in subjection.  Remember, we’ve shared that that aspect means to take on the vision, take on the course that your husband has set as your own.  If you take it on as our own, you can never have that “I told you so”; amen?  “I’ve been sitting here waiting all of these years because I knew you were wrong and I was right.”  Remember that decision your husband just made, how can we disagree with it when we should have been a part of it in our helpmeet role of giving insight, of sharing biblical principles and even though this is a verse for an unsaved husband, ladies, we can never go wrong with a meek and quiet spirit with which you can win your husband; amen?  Don’t make it confrontational, don’t make it a competition.  Surely, your own heart cannot be manipulative or vaunting of self or of usurping because any of that spirit from the Eve realm, remember, each still dealing, male, female, man, woman, dealing with the wounds of original sin, that’s why men and women are so easily offended by masculinity and femininity, because it reminds them of the course and the curse that they’re operating under.  It becomes especially offensive because of what original sin did to that commonality, to that unity, to that oneness that was intended by man’s helpmeet—God’s declaration, “It is not good that the man should be alone.”